It seems that Hollywood is churning out vast numbers of crap movies. I mean, Hollywood has always made many bad movies, but the "average movie" is now awful.
I've never read reviews, often I didn't even know anything about the plot of the movie I was about to watch. But I had to give up choosing a movie based on things like who directed it, wrote it or starred in it.
What I have learned to do is to go to
first go to
[link] rottentomatoes(dot)com and check out if the movie is "rotten" or "fresh".
The site has one or two line summaries of reviews. From the reviews a movie gets a "rating" in percentage points based on the reviews . Those tiny summaries are perfect. If at all possible - I don't want to know about the plot.
Generally, if a movie gets a fresh rating than I can expect I won't be annoyed by a witless plot and formulaic developments are clear within the first 10 minutes.
Cases in point (all of them got a rotten rating - oh how I wish I had avoided them...):
Big Trouble (2002)
50% rating
[link]
8th minute.
I stopped watching.
Sheesh. Another unfunny, unoriginal comedy. With cast of lovable eccentrics no less. And as an additional bonus - product placements - there were two in just the little time I watched it.
A Dirty Shame (2004)
53% rating
[link]
10th minute
I stopped watching. Sex joke, sex joke, sex joke, stupid joke, stupid joke, stupid joke. Repeat. Is John Waters out of ideas? Is every Hollywood comedy a dog? Johnny Knoxville sees Tracey Ullman and he visualizes that her pussy is flaming hot. The audience knows this via a flame special effect on the body area in question.
When a movie lampoons itself to that degree, it's time to push "stop".
Duplex (2003)
36% rating
[link]
50th minute.
I stopped watching.
Edmond (2005)
44% rating
[link]
34th minute
I'm disgusted with David Mamet (who wrote the screen play). I don't need to watch the rest. Mamet should be ashamed.
Envy (2004)
6% rating
[link]
36th minute
No mas. A plot that features a spray called "vaPOOrize" that makes shit disappear. Off beat is one thing, but this movie is um... a stinker.
Ghost Rider (2007)
28% rating
[link]
Putrid. Eva Mendes gives a performance worthy of a soap opera. And I don't understand why she shows so much cleavage. Why not just have her walk around in a bikini then? And Cage sleepwalks towards another 8 figure paycheck.
Sam Elliott provides the narration in a rip off of
The Big Lebowski.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
52% rating
[link]
5th minute.
I stopped watching. Why does Kevin Smith make the same movie over and over again?
Mallrats (1995)
49% rating
[link]
8th minute.
I stopped watching and then I jumped around and watched bits and pieces. I'm just not interested in bathroom humor. The movie begins with a "cat stuck up his ass - but I'm serious and not joking" joke.
When I got to the bit with a topless woman (a fortunate teller?) squeezing her breasts - each of which had two nipples on them - I knew I had made the right choice by not watching it all the way through.
RV (2006)
23% rating
[link]
27th minute
There is a
geyser of shit that covers Robin Williams. And then cheering from RV camp onlookers. And - surprise, surprise - a few minutes later I stopped watching.
The Sex Monster (1999)
33% rating
[link]
7th minute
I stopped watching. Husband would like his wife to "explore" and consider sex with girls. I don't think it's a stretch of the imagination to see where it's going. It's a plot worthy of an episode of a tv series. If that.
Devious Comments
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Juan.
Next Kiriban 10000 hits.
aurora
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glad you like it, thank you for the fav
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Cheers from Poland!
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i have no idea what i want to say here!
I like verdana, but only in size 10 or 11.
You spent MONEY on DA?! Are you mental? They do not deserve money. You should have put it in a bank account and made a cent or two on interest.
I really like the rocket boy
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-- Can't join #real-life. (You are banned) --
Well - we can't have that. What font do you fancy then?
And I still hate DA, just to remind you.
You don't need to remind me. I'm not exactly in love with this place. I still can't believe I spent $5.
Their "implementation" of css is awful.
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Hope you're well! And I still hate DA, just to remind you.
xo
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In the world of perfect imitations, the art is born from errors in duplication.
ワンワン = "wan-wan"
Google image searches...
[link] about 101,000 for ワンワン
[link]
about 10,200 for ワンワンワン
[link]
about 6,590 for ワンワンワンワン
[link]
<span id="maxLimit">4</span> for ワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワンワン
lolololololololololololololololololololo lolololz
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saturninus, hidden dr.agon
You're in your 20s. You ought to have learned that by now.
Woof.
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if only your superior sarcastic style didn't annoy me so much.
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saturninus, hidden dr.agon
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Escape Cold Herons, Jak.
I didn't even know that word.
I had to look it up.
Vincent van Gogh and Fyodor Dostoevsky suffered from it. Hmm...
At first I thought you were commenting on some sort of visual-artistic quirk I might have.
I might indeed suffer from hypergraphia. Then again it might be alien hand syndrome.
[link]
[link]
It's pretty hard to make an original bi-polar joke. I've never heard one yet.
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Escape Cold Herons, Jak.
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